Euphoria

A poem

Photo by me.

I was once the stillest water
pellucid,
a mirror of silver,
cotton-candy skies, and peace
embodied in a child.
I got lost out to sea
got thrown around,
nearly drowned,
tumbled and turned
upside down. 
I swam to survive,
I was fighting but felt alive.
So I became the chaos and
learned to judge the fury of the moon.

I gravitate
to your undulating waves.
They temper
the most dissonant sound.
They are quiet at first and then loud.
The build-up and the crescendo
devour me.
I find myself reading into
each and every reverberation.
The crest roaring
then breaking...
The high keeps me...
hooked.
Can you feel my heart escalate?

Hold me tight
and don't let go.
Squeeze me to make the pain 
unmistakeable.
You can use my skin
for all your conflicted friction.
I was once the girl who pushed
but now all I want is the pull.
To catch the sweet inhale.
Help my frothy lip to curl.
Does your cool fetch
really help the wave to 
ebb and flow?

The tidal waves are rushing
and then there's placidity for days. 
I'm longing for
the oceanic wind's turbulence
to kick up some glittering...
dust.
Madness feels most like home,
but then I remember
I am so weak
I can't take
the storm's aftermath,
the dark murmuring,
the inevitable crash.

Why am I this way?
Some things can't be known
(in the mind)
only felt
(in the body).
So I give in, I relent, I fucking break.
I let go,
and I ride
the up and down of
the tormented waves.
With my eyes closed,
I feel the enormous swell,
I realize I can breathe and
I need the euphoria
of the rise and fall.

Your salt-soaked words
are quiet annihilations,
sinking somewhere in the sand.
Maybe they're assassinations
on a home built entirely
of rose-colored glass.
You are so pleased,
you have no excuse,
no shadowy alibi.
And at this particular time
I cannot lie,
I tell you,
I love it and
it sends shivers down my spine.

---

Photo by me.

Similar Reading: