I found this to be excellent. Partly because in its length there are brief pauses where I wonder, should it stop here? But then you sweep me back up with your precision, and Iām tossed back in again. So it is like a whiplash, trying to come up for air, then being ripped back the other way. Loved it.
I love the rhythm of the poem. The in and out of it and the in and out of your conflicting emotions, too. The contrast of you tethered to both sea and sky, and the freedom of the gull not being held to the ground by her own wishes, or limits, or shame, maybe? So well done. Your envy of her freedom and expansive lens! The āwanting of bothā being what is killing youā¦. Iāve been thinking on that for a while, now.
The image of you strewn with your crooked neck! So violent and unnatural ā again another perfect contrast to natures beauty and also an apt acknowledgement of the force the sea can carry.
Wow. What a comment. Thank you so much for the deep read.
It's funny how in poetry sometimes you are saying things you weren't even aware of until after the poem is done.
I seem to be remember being pretty enchanted by one of your poems as well. Will have to mosey on over and check out some more. Seems we are kindred spirits. Appreciate you!
That is a beautiful assemblage of images, Holly. The restless ocean, the placid blue skies, gulls whirling and dipping overhead, the squawk of a pelican...all streaking in and out of the mind. Further, and it may sound a bit dissonant to say so, the single word 'pellucid' reached out and grabbed me by the neck. One rarely encounters that word anywhere, these days, but it fits perfectly into this prosaic composition of thoughts, feelings, sensations and shivers of the body, mind and spirit! To say it all fits together eloquently would be doing a disservice to that word...rather it flows through the heart and soul like the very life blood of our human experience!
As a child of the ocean...literally and figuratively...such a setting as you have set before us instantly transports me to previous times, places and experiences that helped construct and create who I am today. Frozen-section path slices of time, if you will, spent on or in those very same waters of luminescent cerulean beauty.
There is a scene in a humorous but moving movie about a young woman's love of penguins, starring Jessica Alba, titled 'Good Luck Chuck!' which captures a sense of what comes through in this poem, Holly. It also reaches into our ancient primordial links with Mother Ocean. I was strangely reminded of it as I read through your stanzas. It too, provoked some evocative oceanic currents of remembrance of love, longing and desire for elemental purity...despite its overall humorous flavor.
This gift, I feel, is the mark of someone who can communicate with the deeper levels of emotion and feeling that all of us contain, but few are able to skillfully summon forth...like your Poseidon, commanding the waves and currents of his stormy realm to do his bidding. Kudos. -K2
Thanks, Holly. It draws from the same reflecting pool you and other female critters appear in, so no thanks necessary. What you offer is the raw U-235 that fuels the eternal reactor of life. Fission or fusion of the soul, the spirit or the anima...that basic stuff stars are created from...too bad I'm not a Supreme Deity! I'd draw from your insights to fashion a whole Universe from! -K2
The tension between the shoreline as a threshold and the sea as something that refuses stability carries the whole emotional weight of this piece, especially in the way the speaker is held āwhere the sea meets the sand.ā The shifting between being pulled by the waves and watching the bird with wings and no strings gives language to a life experienced as alternating force rather than settled direction. Even the image of the marionette suspended in that āwhiplashā between sky and tide becomes less about confusion and more about what it costs to live without coherence between head and heart. I am grateful for the honesty in the way you gave shape to that inner motion and named it without softening its force.
You put me all at sea with this one! - conjuring up the mystery and power of the sea and its juxtaposition with land entwined with your inner conflicts. I'm in the middle of one of Conrad's novels in which one of the characters talks about the affinity of the sailor with the sea and the awkwardness and discomfort they feel on the land, which I found echoes of in your poem. I recently discovered the Japanese author Sosecki who portrays indecision and the societal pressures and intellectual forces lying behind it in the novel, 'And then....' which your poem reminds me of. I strongly recommend it if you haven't read it.
Wow...you're the second person who is turning me onto something I've never read or seen. I will check it out.
Really appreciate your deep read, as always. I just told someone else. Comments like this are part of why I write - you just brought me deeper into my own work. That is magical. Thank you again, Hamish. Really appreciate you.
That final realization that itās not the land or the sea, but the agonizing whiplash of wanting both that tears us apart, is such a hauntingly honest and profound way to describe the pain of indecision āØ
You got it, Brandi. Sometimes the back and forth is what kills. Been thinking a lot about this lately...and how hope sometimes makes things worse. That may end up another poem. Thank you so much for reading and getting it.
I found this to be excellent. Partly because in its length there are brief pauses where I wonder, should it stop here? But then you sweep me back up with your precision, and Iām tossed back in again. So it is like a whiplash, trying to come up for air, then being ripped back the other way. Loved it.
I really struggled hard with this one so thank you very much for your comment.
The poem was like an octopus with all these competing tentacles.
You have no idea how much this lifted me. Thank you again.
I really enjoyed it! So many great lines, powerful. Lots of effort indeed. It shows.
I love the rhythm of the poem. The in and out of it and the in and out of your conflicting emotions, too. The contrast of you tethered to both sea and sky, and the freedom of the gull not being held to the ground by her own wishes, or limits, or shame, maybe? So well done. Your envy of her freedom and expansive lens! The āwanting of bothā being what is killing youā¦. Iāve been thinking on that for a while, now.
The image of you strewn with your crooked neck! So violent and unnatural ā again another perfect contrast to natures beauty and also an apt acknowledgement of the force the sea can carry.
This was so well crafted, Holly!!!
Wow. What a comment. Thank you so much for the deep read.
It's funny how in poetry sometimes you are saying things you weren't even aware of until after the poem is done.
I seem to be remember being pretty enchanted by one of your poems as well. Will have to mosey on over and check out some more. Seems we are kindred spirits. Appreciate you!
Thank you, Holly. My pleasure. I love poetry and truly respect your talent and sensibilities!
That is a beautiful assemblage of images, Holly. The restless ocean, the placid blue skies, gulls whirling and dipping overhead, the squawk of a pelican...all streaking in and out of the mind. Further, and it may sound a bit dissonant to say so, the single word 'pellucid' reached out and grabbed me by the neck. One rarely encounters that word anywhere, these days, but it fits perfectly into this prosaic composition of thoughts, feelings, sensations and shivers of the body, mind and spirit! To say it all fits together eloquently would be doing a disservice to that word...rather it flows through the heart and soul like the very life blood of our human experience!
As a child of the ocean...literally and figuratively...such a setting as you have set before us instantly transports me to previous times, places and experiences that helped construct and create who I am today. Frozen-section path slices of time, if you will, spent on or in those very same waters of luminescent cerulean beauty.
There is a scene in a humorous but moving movie about a young woman's love of penguins, starring Jessica Alba, titled 'Good Luck Chuck!' which captures a sense of what comes through in this poem, Holly. It also reaches into our ancient primordial links with Mother Ocean. I was strangely reminded of it as I read through your stanzas. It too, provoked some evocative oceanic currents of remembrance of love, longing and desire for elemental purity...despite its overall humorous flavor.
This gift, I feel, is the mark of someone who can communicate with the deeper levels of emotion and feeling that all of us contain, but few are able to skillfully summon forth...like your Poseidon, commanding the waves and currents of his stormy realm to do his bidding. Kudos. -K2
Wow. Wow. Wow. Another insanely profound comment. Thank you so much.
I am really glad you enjoyed. Poetry is sometimes like stepping into another's world and you seem to have visited it. Makes me so happy.
Will have to check out the Jessica Alba movie too. Love it when something evokes an image or jogs a memory.
Again, can't thank you enough for such a profound comment. This is part of why I write...I am now somehow even deeper in my own piece because of you.
Thanks, Holly. It draws from the same reflecting pool you and other female critters appear in, so no thanks necessary. What you offer is the raw U-235 that fuels the eternal reactor of life. Fission or fusion of the soul, the spirit or the anima...that basic stuff stars are created from...too bad I'm not a Supreme Deity! I'd draw from your insights to fashion a whole Universe from! -K2
Wonderfully moving lines that flow and ripple. Enchanting imagery of seas and waves, the world of gulls and gannets.
Thank you for bringing me there through your lovely poem.
Thank you so much for reading and commenting, Alexander :)
āFor it is by the sea that my heart is full of zest. My perception its clearest. My soul at rest. Down to the sea I must go.ā
Perfect pairing. Thank you for reading, commenting, restacking, as usual.
I hope you are feeling better.
Doing better. Thanks, Holly.
"You can never get enough
of something that almost works."
That's how chronic gamblers get hooked.
Yes this is the basic idea behind any addiction.
Thank you for reading and for your comment.
Awesome article con poetry. Unfortunately when I see the word whiplash, as a drummer all I can now think of is this.
Thanks for reading and commenting!
I like this, resonates! Soon Iām back to the shore to ask some questions more.
Thanks very much Mark. I like what you did there too. š
The tension between the shoreline as a threshold and the sea as something that refuses stability carries the whole emotional weight of this piece, especially in the way the speaker is held āwhere the sea meets the sand.ā The shifting between being pulled by the waves and watching the bird with wings and no strings gives language to a life experienced as alternating force rather than settled direction. Even the image of the marionette suspended in that āwhiplashā between sky and tide becomes less about confusion and more about what it costs to live without coherence between head and heart. I am grateful for the honesty in the way you gave shape to that inner motion and named it without softening its force.
Wow what a comment and read. Thanks so much for how deep you went here. You clearly get it.
Feels great to be seen. Appreciate you. š¤
I donāt know what to say except that I enjoyed this poem immensely and it touched me deeply. Thank you. ā¤ļø!
Not sure how I missed this comment but sometimes no words are all we can muster. Thanks so much for reading and restacking. It means so much to me.
Thank you for your lovely poem. I want to hear about more of your adventures, thoughts and feelings, especially in the beautiful outdoors. ā¤ļø!
Will do Rafael.
What a beautiful and visceral poem.
Thank you so much for reading and commenting. Visceral was definitely the idea.
You put me all at sea with this one! - conjuring up the mystery and power of the sea and its juxtaposition with land entwined with your inner conflicts. I'm in the middle of one of Conrad's novels in which one of the characters talks about the affinity of the sailor with the sea and the awkwardness and discomfort they feel on the land, which I found echoes of in your poem. I recently discovered the Japanese author Sosecki who portrays indecision and the societal pressures and intellectual forces lying behind it in the novel, 'And then....' which your poem reminds me of. I strongly recommend it if you haven't read it.
Wow...you're the second person who is turning me onto something I've never read or seen. I will check it out.
Really appreciate your deep read, as always. I just told someone else. Comments like this are part of why I write - you just brought me deeper into my own work. That is magical. Thank you again, Hamish. Really appreciate you.
It's great that you're so receptive to reading suggestions, Holly. I appreciate you and your powerful work too. Keep it up!
Beautiful. Moving. Honest. Kudos
Thanks so much for reading and for your support, KB :)
That final realization that itās not the land or the sea, but the agonizing whiplash of wanting both that tears us apart, is such a hauntingly honest and profound way to describe the pain of indecision āØ
You got it, Brandi. Sometimes the back and forth is what kills. Been thinking a lot about this lately...and how hope sometimes makes things worse. That may end up another poem. Thank you so much for reading and getting it.
I felt every. Single. Word. Of this, friend. Beautiful. Erratic. The whiplash of being, feeling. The whiplash of existence. Is there anything else?
Girl. You give me chills sometimes. Your few words are always the right ones. And powerful. Appreciate you, Heidi, thanks so much for reading.
Appreciate YOU, Holly.